Heartbreaker

Posted on 05 Jan 2023 @ 6:20am by Civilian Iola Hawkins

Mission: Through the looking glass
Location: Hawkin's Quarters
1310 words - 2.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Michael looked frazzled, his hair was all messed up, and he sought out Iola. He didn't quite know how to approach this subject, but this had to be done. He was through and he had to set Iola free. He burst into the quarters to see if she was there, "Iola, Iola we need to talk. Are you in here?" Iola may not be here as maybe she was in the diplomatic offices with Natasha? Michael had forgotten to check and went to sit down upon the sofa, burying his head in his hands, groaning, as if he were carrying a heavy burden.

It wasn't long before Iola came home though her happy smile upon seeing her husband quickly evaporated when she saw him sitting on the couch as he was. "Michael?" she queried as she went to kneel in front of him, taking his hands into hers. "Are you alright?" She shifted to run one hand through his hair, then cupped his cheek. "You're not sick, are you?"

Michael slowly lifted his head, to gaze at Iola, his eyes red-rimmed and semi blood shot. "In a way, yes I am sick. My heart hurts deeply, Iola." he took in a shaky breath, and swallowed. Michael remembered loving her, he still did, but not like he should. He wasn't going to be able to change that fact. Michael felt a bit of a chill wash over him, and he shivered.

"Why?" Worry creased her brow as she studied him, noticing the shaking breath. "What's wrong Michael, do you need to go to sickbay?" She watched the man she loved, not sure how to help, lacking the knowledge to know what was wrong. "Do I need to call a doctor?"

"No Iola, I don't think a doctor is going to help me at all." Michael took another breath letting it out slowly, feeling his hands grow clammy. "This is so difficult, and I can not let things go any more further than what it has done so far." he swallowed hard, willing the rest of the words to come forth. "Iola, I am not a good man, far from it. I am feeling that we shouldn't have gotten married at all."

"Maybe..." The answer was slow and hesitant as she felt colour drain from her face. "But you are a good man...who's saying you aren't?" She cupped his face between both of her hands, kissing him lovingly. "You are good man to me," she added with a sad smile, "and you make me happy." She felt her heart skip a beat and she held her breath, dreading his next words already even though she had no idea what they would be. This was alien territory for her, she'd never been through anything like this before.

Michael closed his eyes when she gave him her tender loving kiss, wanting to pull Iola close to him, giving into his baser instincts and desire. Michael resisted that urge, opening his eyes once more and gazing into her beautiful eyes, "Iola, I am saying I am not a good man, and you deserve to be treated nicely. Yes I have been doing so, not being abusive as I do love you, you are worthy to be loved, I am afraid though, that I am not the sort of man to stay with you, anymore." Michael leaned back from Iola, running his hands through his already mussed up hair.

"Why?" she asked again, as confusion spread across her features, followed by hurt as he pulled away from her. "Did I do something wrong?" she finally asked, confusion making way for doubt.

"You did nothing wrong at all, it is me that has done you wrong. I thought I loved you enough as a husband should do, I am afraid I have lied to myself, and ended up lying to you. I am so mixed up, my mind isn't in the right place, neither is my heart. It hurts, but the worse thing of it all is, I am ending up hurting you. This shouldn't have happened, we shouldn't have happened." Michael rose from the couch and walked over to get a glass of water from the replicator, then turned to look at Iola, holding the glass and feeling the chill of the water radiating to his hand. The chill seemed to not stop at his hand but traveled through out his body.

Tears started to well up in her eyes as she watched him. "I don't understand....why shouldn't we have happened? We did happen... you love me, I love you. I don't understand, why sudden change? What happened? Did something happen to you?"

"I don't know Iola, I feel myself changing, I worry that I will become unkind to you, that I may hurt you. I don't know if it is a residue of that powder I was exposed to, had tasted. I have a feeling that it changed me in someway." he closed his eyes rubbing his temple with one hand. "I may have had the antidote, Iola but, I just don't think that it totally took, or my biochemistry may have been changed in some way. Or being here in this universe, is affecting me as well."

Michael opened his eyes, a fearful expression in them. Then Michael raised the glass to his lips drinking its contents. Lowering the glass he set it down on the nearby table. "I don't want to hurt you, I don't intend on doing so, but, things are unpredictable. This is why I am saying we need to end this, end our marriage. Just in case I go down a dark path which could hurt you." Michael sank to the floor on his knees, "Please Iola, it has to be done." Michael was a mess, being torn by the emotions that were welling up inside.

"You are hurting me," Iola said, "but you are my mate. Am I not supposed to help you? Is that not duty of a wife?" The hurt was plain on her face and she was almost sure she wasn't going to persuade him. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she knelt before him, taking his hands within hers. "What kind of wife am I, if I were to just leave? What will people say, if I do that?"

Michael suddenly rose from his knees to his feet and backed away from Iola. "It wouldn't be you that will be leaving, it will be me that will be leaving. They would not be upset at you, it will be me they will be upset with." he ran his fingers through his hair., clutching at it as if he would pull it out."You can't help me on this Iola." his face filled with frustration. "Like it or not I am leaving you. This marriage isn't going to work out between us, Iola. Not at all, and its better that we seperate and call it quits."

Her frustration and fear turned to anger as she too got to her feet. "Fine. Leave then," she spat, "go away. Now!" Even if these were his quarters, technically, she wanted him to leave. She felt a sharp pain in her chest as she pointed towards the door. "Now!"

Michael looked at her, then he said. "As you wish, and I won't be back." he turned and went to the door, he paused to look back at Iola, for one final gaze at Iola and stepped out. A deep sigh, a regretful glance towards the now closed door, he needed to get to the bridge.

As the door slid closed, Iola sagged to her knees and broke into inconsolable sobs. She had never felt so alone and abandoned in her entire life.

---

Lieutenant Michael Hawkins
Chief Engineer
USS Andromeda

Iola Hawkins
Cross Roads Liaison