Testing a theory

Posted on 04 Jun 2021 @ 5:39pm by Lieutenant JG Rosaline Belikov

Mission: Mission 5 - Season of the Witch?
Location: Michaels quarters
1741 words - 3.5 OF Standard Post Measure

On:

Walking along the decks on the ship, Rose was making her way towards Michaels quarters with an intent to ask him a few things. There was something she wanted to clear up before she started on a project of her own and she figured the fastest way to get her answers would be to ask Michael directly. Stopping outside of the doors to his quarters, Rose took a deep breath before moving to knock, stopping herself before making contact with the door and instead choosing to use the door chime instead.

The door opened immediately with Hawkins looking a bit surprised, this was probably the first time, anyone has come to his quarters. He was dressed casually tee shirt sweats and an apron over them which said 'A good cook always shares good food. '

"Hey you are just in time, I just pulled out a tray of cookies." motioning for her to follow him. Also there was some oriental food dished up as well. "Can I offer you something else to eat or to drink? I've got some tea steeping."

Caught a little off guard by the sudden invitation, Rose stuttered for a moment before her brain kicked in again, “um, yea sure. That sounds nice” she said, following him into his quarters. Choosing to stand in the middle of all of the furniture, Rose was still trying to think of a way to broach her questions without sounding too rude or aggressive, “um, do you remember what happened in the holodeck a little while ago?”

"I remember the tea party I had set up for you and Xu to get to know each other as a getting to know each other as friends. Which included me." Giving a smile, he noted her stance and her standing in the middle as if she was making certain she could run if needed. "Rose, what is wrong? I'm reading your body language as a perplexing puzzle. You can be direct with me, its no problem. Go ahead and say what's on your mind. Cookie?" the cookie being chocolate chip.

Taking the offered cookie, Rose held it in her hands for a moment before looking up at Michael with a slight pink flush starting to come to her cheeks, “no, I was referring to earlier when you walked in on my training session and we.....kissed”

Michael thought over what she said and his mind went back before he had done the tea party. The memory came up and he blushed. "I remember." smiling gently, but a furrow appeared between his eyes then it disappeared. "Come have a seat and we can talk." motioning to the sofa.

Tensing up a little, Rose was finding it hard to speak openly about her feelings, but she took a deep breath in, gritted her teeth and pushed herself to talk, “Well, I wouldn’t mind if we could get to know each other a little better than friends. I know I’m not the easiest person to talk to at the moment, but maybe....” she said giving a shrug as she trailed off, her eyes drifting away from Michael’s face and down to the cookie in her hands.

"Rose, its okay, I find that you are easy enough to talk to." Michael walking over to the sofa and took a seat. Seeing if she would come take a seat.

Gingerly walking over to the couch, Rose sat down on the edge of the couches cushion leaving a decent gap between them. Her posture was practically ridged, almost like a student that had been sent to the principals office. Swallowing her nerves, she began to nibble away at the cookie she still had in her hands. Come on, why are you so nervous? You can talk to him at least she thought, berating herself for acting like a school girl at a prom.

Michael thought over the previous happenings dissecting what had happened, then looked over at Rose, feeling that he may have started something unintentionally with Rose, it was at the time when things were just developing between him and Iola. "Rose, you said you wanted to get to know me as more than friends, was that as in dating?" deciding to be direct.

Rose nodded, “Yes, I would like to go out with you.” she said, picking up on Michael's hesitation as she mind began to focus. Although her empathic abilities weren’t anything to brag about, they came in useful every now and then, but at other times, like right now, they proved more trouble then useful, “Unless I’ve picked up the wrong idea and you already have someone special.”

"At that time when I went to check on you, I wasn't certain about my feelings towards anyone. I felt attracted to you, to Gwen and Iola. And also wanted to do my best in not leading someone on. When we kissed, and I will be quite honest, it was an incredible kiss, and that moment we had was... wonderful. I feel like a heel and am wondering if I led you on. You are an incredible woman, savvy, dangerous, beautiful but I will be honest I do have someone special in my life now." he rose from the couch very aggravated, and she would sense that it was towards himself and not towards her.

He came back to the couch, and sat down. "Let me tell you why I wasn't certain about my feelings towards anyone, to be with someone on a permanent basis. I at one time had a special someone whom I was going to marry. Her name was Hotaru Wymund, and she is in Intelligence, much like yourself." he stated, locking eyes with Rose.

"We had plans to marry, the date was set and everyone was there. I got the notice though that she wasn't going to make it to our wedding. In fact she just disappeared leaving a note telling me, she was sorry. Her mother had brought me the note. It was a big mess. Sadly, it shattered me for a time. And then I came here, meeting you, Gwen and Iola, which ended up opening my heart to possibilities. And.. I think that time we shared, ended up jump starting my heart and broke down a wall. And it may have done the same thing for you too." Michael stated. There was no sense of pity from him, just warmth. He was being honest and upfront.

Rose was shocked, and almost felt like she would throw up. She’d just opened up to someone who didn’t have the same feelings towards her and in fact had a romantic relationship with another person. She felt like the dumbest person in the Galaxy. “Oh, I am so sorry. This is got to be the most awkward situation right now” she said, quickly standing up from the couch and walking to the other side of the room to put some distance between them. After taking a couple of deep breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating, Rose stood up straight, turned to face Michael and gave a slight bow, “if you’ll excuse me Lieutenant, I’ve got a bottle to go climb into and try and forget how much of an ass I’ve just made of myself. Good day”

"Rose, now wait just a minute. Drinking yourself into numbness isn't the way to go. And I feel like an ass as well. Can, can we talk about this? I feel like I have done you wrong and well." he rubbed the back of his head, "I'd like to fix this somehow, but I don't know quite how to do that."

“Right now I think it would be best if we just forget this ever happened. I wish you well with your partner” Rose said as she walked backwards towards the door. She could sense that Michael was trying to help but right now all she wanted was to be alone or at least be with Ziva. While she was joking about drinking herself numb, a glass or two couldn’t hurt. “Good day Lieutenant” she said finally as she stood up straight to assume a more professional posture, turned on her heal and walked out into the ship.

"Rose, wait." Michael followed her out of his quarters and into the hall. "I think we need to continue this conversation. As I don't want you to feel uncomfortable around me, when we do work together. Which I know we will be doing so in the future."

“I’m not a child Lieutenant, I can be professional when I need to and put my feelings to one side” Rose replied, aiming to get to the turbolift, “you’ve made your intentions clear enough, so I’m not sure what else there is to discuss”

"Actually I think there is. And I am not treating you like a child." he blew a piece of his hair out away from his eyes, feeling frustrated which she could feel and also the beginning of a sense of loss. "Look, I am not going to force you to talk to me or for that matter I won't make you even associate with me except for official matters." feelings that he cared for her, could be picked up. His shoulders drooped a bit, as he leaned against the wall near his door. He didn't want to cause anymore embarrassment for her. And he was kicking himself too.

Giving a sigh, Rose turned around and walked back over to Michael, “alright, then speak. What else is there?”

"Would there be a slight chance we can still be friends? Or has that bridge been blown to smithereens." Michael deciding to cut to the chase. Rose has never been one to dance around a subject.

Taking a deep breath, Rose nodded, “yes we can remain friends, but I need a few days to process everything. So for now just leave me be and it’ll work out”

There was a visible sense of relief in his eyes, and also his emotions. "Thank you and I will leave you be." But there was also another sense, still that one of regret. He turned stopped, and looked back at Rose. "Will see you later on sometime."

Again, Rose simply nodded, “we will”


END

Lieutenant Michael Hawkins
Chief Engineer

Lieutenant JG Rosaline Belikov
Chief of Intelligence